A list of good restaurants is certainly useful, but one of bad or simply mediocre ones is in some ways even more precious: it sure cost me much pain and money, and it will be all the more convenient to you since some celebrated restaurants present in almost every guide are, in my humble estimation, worthy members of this family.
By the way, this is by far the most popular section of my site. Most people who write to me tell me how much they like it. They seem to find it funny.
Here come the usual caveats. The following are obviously only my opinions: do not feel hurt if you find here in hell the name of your favorite restaurant or, worse, your restaurant.
To begin with, a word about Mexican restaurants. In my view it will suffice to say that, of the dozen or more I have visited, none worth eating at is to be found within Tokyo-to (any proof to the contrary will be most welcome). All you will find is at best some sort of Tex-Mex cuisine, certainly not the good, flavory stuff that so far I have found only in Mexico and in Mexican neighborhoods in California. They don't even use fresh coriander, so good in Mexican-Mexican burritos. Here I review one of the few I have visited in recent years.
Same thing goes for Greek food. The few I tried are worse than the Mexican and more expensive. If you know of a good one, please tell. There is a couple of good places in Akebonocho, Yokohama. One is Sparta and the second is Salonikos.
Last general warning. Beware of the so-called Chichukai (Mediterranean) cuisine. The name should have alerted you already to the mischief afoot. It is simply a sloppy, dumb, much too liberal interpretation of what some Japanese believe Southern European food is. And it doesn't come cheap. So, no further ado: here they come.
Jordan Millar years ago sent the following comments about a restaurant, Aladdin, in Roppongi, which by the way still exists, but I don't know what or how it presently is. His incredible story is absolutely true. I know because I also went to Aladdin a couple of weeks before he wrote with a newspaper clip in my hand, just to find out it had become an Italian restaurant. Wouldn't eat at an Italian restaurant called Aladdin. Caruso, perhaps. Aladdin, no. I keep his piece because, although obsolete, it's funny.
Aladdin - Italian (formerly Arab) restaurant
Had the unfortunate experience of visiting this restaurant recently. We arranged a booking for 12 people for about 7pm. I turned up fifteen minutes early and the restaurant was deserted. (Should have taken leave then!) I was seated and ordered a beer while I waited for my friends to arrive. The beer was nice and cold and the glass clean. (I should say something nice!)
Alladin is on the second floor and it puzzled me greatly that I could hear the meowing of a cat. I figured that perhaps it was a particularly vocal feline and didn't give it further thought. I then glanced at the menu and was surprised to find that my all too brief knowledge of Italian was enough for me to comprehend the Turkish and Persian languages.
I was quite pleased with myself when my friends arrived and I gave them a brief run down of our choices for the evening: pizza, pasta, salad, antipasti, etc. It was then that we discovered that the food was not Turkish or Persian but Italian. The manager told us that we must have made a mistake as this restaurant is Italian. We showed him the Tokyo Classified stating that the restaurant was Turkish/ Persian and he merely replied that it was wrong. (It appears that a lot of the other food guides are also wrong.)
So we switched our tastebuds to Italian and placed orders. We also tried to order some red wine but were told that they didn't have any. Still in shock, we were offered white and took it. Back to the meowing. My friends also heard it and we were all commenting about it when I saw the source of the noise. On the table across from us were two middle aged Japanese men with their cat perched between them on the table. The cat was content to snaffle various morsels from either plate and the diners didn't seem to mind.
The first main course arrived 15 minutes before the entree and we had to send it back, the rest of the food arrived in what can only be described as total random order and the restaurant ran out of wine after our fifth bottle. The food was overpriced, undersized and not particularly nice.
The service was abrupt and inadequate. The decor was pleasant for an Italian restaurant and the location is good. Unfortunately, the only thing that was Persian about the whole restaurant was Tinkles the cat on the table beside us. Most probably my worst culinary experience in Tokyo.
Sukothai - Thai - Kichi Joji